Faster, Harder, Stronger, The Games of the XXX Olympiad

I didn't know when I proposed to her. Oh sure, there was a few hints, comments about how she wanted to go onto the field and bite the opposing players' arms after a football game, a note that she was somewhat of a hockey fan, but nothing to really tell me that this beautiful Japanese woman was actually a sports fanatic.

And then came the games of the Athens Olympics in 2004, and there Team USA defeated Team Japan in softball. Now, I'm not a sport's follower. Oh sure, I root for the San Francisco Giants as my 'local' team, I follow the Oakland Raiders (I.e. I check the online news about them to know if I should mention them to my step-father or not), and for college sports, I get a bit worked up about it, but usually my feelings can be summed up as my two favorite teams are Nevada and whomever is playing UNLV, but even I had to grin at Team USA's victory and let out a small, "USA!". Not gloating you understand, just enjoying the win...

'WHAP!'

I got hit, hard, by my 'delicate' Japanese wife (Then fiancee).

Beloved is a follower of sports, and one with the normal Japanese reaction of tossing her heart and soul into the teams that she supports. Normally it's not so much of an issue, we both support the Nevada Wolf Pack and I can usually take or leave the various Japanese pro teams, but every two years...

And even then it's not so bad, I can cheer on Japan, though I do refuse to chant "Nippon! Cha! Cha! Cha!", as long as they are competing against other countries, but there will always be a time when it's Japan vs America and thus is WWII refought.

And yes, it gets bad. When Japan beat the US in the World Baseball Classic two out of two, Beloved gloated for two solid weeks. Last year during the Woman's World Cup, I ended up with a text message at 5:30 am while camping from an ecstatic wife that Nadeshiko Japan (It should be noted that the women's soccer team is called Beautiful Ladies and the guys Samurai Blue, kinda tells you all about Japan), beat the United States to hoist the cup.

But come the Olympics when Team USA wins...

'WHAP!' Every victory comes with a faster, harder, and stronger smack as she expresses her displeasure by taking it out on the nearest American on general principle, even if said American happens to be her husband.

I've thought about claiming domestic violence, except that I'm fairly sure that the Japanese police are just as nationalistic sports nuts as my wife.

Of course, what gets worse is adding our sons to the mix. Hikaru is too young to get into it (Though he will point at the TV and exclaim "London! London!" to get the Olympics on), but Makoto is old enough to enjoy setting his parents off and wanders around the house chanting "USA! USA! USA! YEAH!" to get cries of enragement from his mother and "Nippon! Cha! Cha! Cha!" shouted in return loud enough that I am sure some of Team Japan in London looked up suddenly to find out what the racket was.

Then Makoto announced that he wanted to go the Olympics as an Olympian (For the record, he plans to compete in swimming, Judo, soccer, and badminton). Now, being the wise father and knowing that doing so requires him to pick a team (and indeed a nation) I asked him what team he wanted to be on. "Team USA" earned me a glare that toasted my bread quite nicely. Stating to Makoto that to be an Olympian would require him to practice every day before he can stand on that podium and hear the Star Spangled Banner got me another that re-heated my coffee quite nicely.

Really, I don't think it looks that bad

Of course, I can't just let this all slide, even though, again, sports fan is not my name (Geek, yes, Trekkie, yeah, otaku, sure, but not sport's fan). So when I was in America I managed to pick up a car magnet for Team USA. I slipped it onto our minivan, just wondering, more or less, when Beloved would actually notice it.

She did, immediately. More so, I was treated to three days of ranting about how this was unfair that it was on HER car and how she was getting asked uncomfortable questions by other Japanese about why her car has a sticker supporting Team USA and not Team Japan. What drove her nuts was that she couldn't find a Japanese equivalent of that car magnet, no matter how she scoured the Internet. It finally came down to her forgiving me once I made her one out of some printable magnetic paper, a "Gambare! Nippon! logo she found, and a water sealant.

God help me if that sealant doesn't hold and the ink starts to run.

Of course, right now I am living in some apprehension as both Team USA and Nadeshiko Japan are in the quarter finals and expected to advance to the final round. When Team USA takes the gold, I expect that my wife will attempt for a gold of her own by targeting her husband's arm, faster, harder, and stronger.

Fair is fair, I suppose...