Anatomy of a Japanese New Year

We're not rocking out that's for sure.

Instead, our New Year was one of, excepting exceptionally bratty children and up-chuck, one of peace.

As if the wont of Beloved's family, we spent New Year's Eve eating the usual food, soba (buckwheat noodles). According to Japanese tradition, one must eat soba or udon, a thick white noodle, on New Year's Eve, the idea being you eat long foods to live longer. Funnily enough, Beloved's mother hated soba... until her daughter moved to Nagano (One of Nagano's specialties is soba) and now she's a fan. we also watched the yearly battle on NHK between the red and white teams.

This takes a bit of explanation, NHK, the main government sponsored broadcaster, does a yearly song battle between a woman's team (Red) and a men's team (White). White usually wins. Pretty much if you're ANYONE in Japan, you want to be on this show. The highest earners, the most popular talents, appear. It's as much of a tradition as Dick Clark's broadcast is in the US. It runs from 7:30 till 11:45.

The boys of course weren't allowed to stay up that late of course, but they did manage to stay up late enough to enjoy the all Disney review (Tokyo Disneyland's 40th is next year), which of course made them uber-happy children. The rest of the songs, meh. Well, except for AKB48. And Fashion Monster. But that was about it for the kids. They were in bed and hopefully dreaming of hawks, eggplants, and Mt. Fuji (All very good omens to dream of on New Year's Eve) by 9.

At 11:45 came the final countdown to the New Year, except that it wasn't one at all. Instead NHK did its usual broadcasts from temples around Japan slowly ringing in the New Year by ringing their bells 108 times (It's a Buddhist belief that there are 108 devils that attack humanity and that by ringing the bell 108 times, those devils are driven away) until 12 am when the broadcasters very seriously wished us a Happy New Year.

That's New Year's Eve in Japan, very calm and serious. Sure, there are those who were having some fun going to shrines at midnight for the first visit of the year, but Japan is not party central.

New Year's Day again is very serious. We woke early to see the first sun rise on 2013 and then had breakfast.

Breakfast it should be explained it a rather elaborate affair.

See, according to tradition, for at least New Year's Day, no work should be done so before New Year's Day, Beloved, her mother, and sisters spent the day in the kitchen making enough food to last us for the next few days. The breakfasts were then placed in very beautiful wooden boxes and set out to wait for us in the morning. Come that morning we had a plethora of various foods to eat, tea made from cherry blossoms, and sake. Pretty much all day long we snacked off of these foods (I don't actually remember lunch, we just more or less ate snacks, oranges, apples, chocolates, etc) and then sat down to dinner of, well, breakfast.

Just to have Makoto throw up.

It turned out however that this was more someone ate too many oranges and rough housed a bit too much with his uncles before dinner than being sick (Which is a blessing, last year we managed to have both boys get stomach flu, which meant Beloved spent New Year's Eve at a hospital).

But that is pretty much how our New Year's panned out. We have spent the last few days staying at home, hibernating under the kotatsu, eating snacks and good food (To the tune of me gaining 3 kg) and enjoying the company as they say.

This is a Japanese New Year. It's not filled with parties and the like, though there's shopping and races. There's shrine visits and food, but mostly it's the nation taking a breath, a breather before starting the year. Given that everyone in Japan heads back to their homes for this, we have returned to the beginning before staring again.

So let's start.

As they say in Japan, 明けましておめでとう

Let Those Toy Guns Fall to the Ground

It's the wandering cold. It's come back for a visit and since I told it that I could do without its company, it has thus decided to check out other family members. First it wandered over to Makoto, sending the poor boy to bed early one night with a slight fever. Last night we woke to Hikaru throwing up a bit (Not that this stopped him from waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning to raid Daddy's breakfast as usual), and not to be outdone, Beloved has announced that she has a sore throat.

It's just that time of year, and the family that plays together, eats together, and sleeps together shares germs like no one's business.

But what was interesting was last week when Makoto got sick. Now, honestly, I think he was playing it more for effect than anything else. The kid sure didn't act sick when he was playing with his brother, but boy did he droop when I suggested it was time to clean up for dinner and when he decided that he didn't like dinner, he was far too sick to eat. Thus Dr. Dad prescribed "Well, if you're too sick to eat, to bed you must go".

This probably wasn't what he was expecting, but oh well.

What was interesting though was that left Hikaru alone. Normally my house is never quiet (Unless the boys are sleeping, and even then) and the shouts of two active little boys in an constant state of play/battle are our constant companions. Makoto and Hikaru just do... everything together. Makoto might not like it, and yes, it usually goes that they play for about 5 minutes then get into a fight which causes one to come screaming to whichever parent they can find first to complain, but in watching Hikaru wander around without his playmate constantly calling "Makoto! Makoto! Makoto!" Well, it makes you really feel just how close my two sons are right now. We didn't exactly plan on this, but, yes, it's obvious that Hikaru idolizes his older brother.

Also it made us realize that a bored Hikaru is a dangerous thing.

Since big brother was not to be found and Mommy was doing this... work thing, that left but one person left to play with...

Guess who?

Actually though, it was fun to have more one on one play time with Hikaru. I usually don't have one-on-one time with him. Makoto of course gets more, mainly because he can be taken to places, like a class, that I can't take Hikaru yet. Young age makes dealing with Hikaru a bit tricky so usually I get either Makoto or both boys, not just Hikaru. I'm explaining this so that my surprise at just how violent my youngest son is will be understood.

Let me restate that, Hikaru isn't dangerously violent, not in a "Whoa boy do we have trouble" bit, but it's a little disconcerting when your two-year-old picks up a rolled up newspaper and "shoots" his parents with it, proclaiming he's a GoBuster! I'm fairly sure this too is the result of having an older brother, Makoto didn't get into the rough-n-tumble stuff until much later in life. In fact, I don't think he started "shooting" anyone until age 4, or at least a late three. But here is Hikaru, barely two, and already attempting to GoBusters! Punch! and GoBusters! Kick! and GoBusters! Bang bang! his parents.

I'm really starting to think there's some truth to this TV is too violent thing. Maybe.

Sick Blogger is Sick

Yup. But fear not, it's not cancer (For some reason, when announcing that I've gotten sick to my classes, they respond back with "Is it cancer?" I'm not sure I should be touched that they are so worried about me, or enraged that they're hoping I drop dead and thus they are spared from more English classes). No, I've just caught a cold and between that and Thanksgiving, the impending visit of the in-laws, getting ready for Christmas, and speaking tests at school plus the boys... I'm beat.

Thankfully, I am not the kind of man who drives his wife nuts by reverting back to his childhood and becoming yet another baby she must tend to while sick. No indeed, while I drive my wife nuts when I'm sick, it's for an entirely different reason, namely refusing to admit that I am sick.

This one is my mother's fault, I'm sure.

Pretty much growing up the rule of thumb was if you can get vertical without passing out or throwing up or your fever is below 100, you are capable of going to school. This rule has more ore less been carried on into my adult life, if I ain't barfing and I can get up, I can make it to school and teach.

The fever thing is a bit trickier, but I get around it by just never taking my temperature.

Now back Stateside, this would lead to my boss taking a look at me and then sending me back home over feeble protests, but Japan... Japan is worse than I am. People will come in to work while on life support if they have to. It becomes normal to see hordes of people wandering around in face masks (Think the kind that a doctor wears) marking that they too have gotten ill, but they will still come in to work or to school. It's just the Japanese way.

One would think of course that Beloved would be happy that her American husband takes so readily to this Japanese custom, i.e. needing to be ordered home (It has happened, even in Japan. Usually though it has to happen because I just threw up in front of the principal), but no. The problem is usually that Beloved's first reaction to me getting sick is "Go see the doctor."

This one is my fault, I married the daughter of a doctor.

I have attempted to explain to my beloved wife that it is not as if I am scared of hospitals or doctors, far from it. I'm not particularly fond of them, but I'm not scared. It's just that I don't really like going to them, or bothering taking the time to go to them (See the rule of thumb, if I'm able to get to the doctor then surely I can get to school and teach, right?). I keep explaining to Beloved that not everyone grew up with a visit to the doctor meaning going to the breakfast table, complaining about being sick and having Dr. Dad write you a prescription right then and there. While Japan's national health care system is wonderful and cheap, it's still a bit of a hassle. Add in the language barrier, which can be daunting at the best of times, and I just tend to want to avoid going if I don't absolutely have to.

The other reason why I avoid stating I'm sick is just that, well... it doesn't feel right in Japan. In the US, when I finally got sick enough to stay home, my routine was pretty well set. I'd spend the day drugged up to the gills with NyQuil and either watching travel shows on TV (One year after a bad bout of the flu, I probably could have given a tour of London after all the shows on it I watched) or spend it in bed reading punctuated by naps. My food would be chicken and rice, easy on the stomach, and I would have as much apple and grape juice, not to mention 7-Up as I could drink. That's how one gets over a cold.

Japan has a different take on it. For one, day time TV in Japan is lacking in intelligence, unless you happen to like mindless dramas and even more mindless talk/variety shows. Two, NyQuil doesn't exist in Japan thanks to very strong drug laws, and finally... Well, Beloved has her own ideas of what a sick person should eat. Rice is involved, yes, but rice gruel. With veggies. And enough ginger to choke a whole team of horses (My mother swears by zinc for colds, Beloved, ginger). To say it is bland would be an understatement.

But there is one final problem, rest. When I'm sick enough to want to stay home, I want to rest. Not sleep per se, but just read (My idea of perfect relaxation) or TV that's interesting, but not particularly challenging. What I have discovered however is that both boys do not have "Daddy is sick" built into their vocabulary. Indeed, if Daddy is home that must mean he is available for playing, making things, being asked to settle fights, book readings, tickle attacks, and just talking to when nothing else is going on. And if Daddy is lying down... Well that just means jungle gym time.

And you attempt to tell a toddler that he's not allowed to watch whatever Thomas DVD he wants just because Daddy doesn't feel well and would like to watch some TV.

I'll just keep working, I get more rest at my junior high school anyway.

The 3 AM Call

So the night before last I got the call that all parents dread; namely "Honey, turn on the light please, he just threw up." Sadly Makoto has come down with the stomach flu that seems to be hitting all the kids around the town. Last night he manged to get on the toilet before he threw up, but we still had one heck of a mess to clean up, and again and again and again today. It's not his fault of course, the poor little guy is sick, the doc actually had him on an IV for a bit to re-hydrate (The joy of stomach flu, kids get it at both ends and since nothing will stay in, that's why its so dangerous for little guys).

It did get me thinking though. Growing up I had Dr. Mom in residence. Not literally a doctor of course, but it got to the point where my mother could call our doctor with the symptoms have him confirm her diagnosis, and then he would phone in the needed prescription for her to pick up. What was amazing is that my mother for a good chunk of the time that my sister and I were visited with the usual childhood afflictions did it all by herself and did it without panicking.

Both kids down with the stomach flu, vomit going everywhere, fevers running well over 100 and it didn't phase her. She dealt with the godawful messes, dispensed medicine, juice, and chicken noodle soup, and did so without seemingly batting an eyelash; even as her children crawled into her bed in the middle of the night to announce "Mommy, I don't feel good... BLERG!"

When Makoto came along, I didn't think I could do the same. I'm usually not a happy camper when awoken in the middle of the night; growing up I was noted for a somewhat weak stomach (Even if I wasn't actually sick, seeing people throwing up would usually get me to), and just... ew... Leaking diapers full of watery, off color, smelly poop... Pajamas, blankets, walls and floors coated in vomit... And all of this in the middle of the night where all I want to do is sleep, not spend a half an hour cleaning a hysteric kid and various items of clothing, bedding, and house.

Plus there was the worry... sick kid. Here's a little guy who looks to Mommy and Daddy to make everything better, who when he's hurt can come crying to one of us and we can make the pain go away almost immediately. But when he's sick... we can't. We can't just make it go away, and in fact we might have to make it worse by forcing him to take his medications (And it should be noted that many a Japanese medicine, especially for kids, are suppositories). So that's stressful, the child who looks to you to make it all better is let down. And yes, it does hurt that you can't wave a magic wand and make it go away, even if you really want to. Add in that nagging voice in the back of every parent's mind, "What if..." What if this isn't just a cold, what if the doctor tells me something is really wrong, what if...

I admit, the first few times Makoto got sick... I wasn't Superdad, I was more super-wreck. Beloved and I both ended up yelling at each other trying to get the little guy changed and cleaned up. Both of us were stressed out and tired. Each new illness found us racing through the streets to the children's all night clinic to make sure that our little guy was ok, just to get that LOOK from the doctor of "It's a cold. He's ok. Go back to bed."

So, yes, the first year or so I marveled at just how unflappable my mother was in handling this and wondered if I would ever get there myself. But you know, as with all things in fatherhood and parenting, it's amazing just how much you can change and pick up and never know about it. Think about it, these kids don't come with instruction manuals and no matter what your background is, it is a far different thing to be faced with YOUR sick child.

So the night before last I got the call that all parents dread; namely "Honey, turn on the light please, he just threw up." Bringing the light up I got to see a lovely puddle of vomit and a crying 4-year-old. I glanced at Beloved, "Stomach flu?" she said. "Stomach flu." I nodded. Beloved just sighed, "I'll get his clothes, please clean him up while I change the bed."

Half an hour later, Makoto was cleaned, changed, with new bedding and settled back down to sleep with a bowl by his head. While we had another call the next night, and a few more during today, the both of us just got on with the jobs at hand, cleaning, changing, shuffling one kid off to the doctor and the other one was kept occupied. Makoto has been calmly dealt with in terms of messes and the dispensing of OS-1, hand holding, and the cleaning of his bowl when it gets a bit full. And all without drama or yelling.

Dr. Dad has passed his residency and hung out his shingle. Still not fond of three am calls, but at least I can deal with them.